The Other Side of the Equation: A story of Life, Love, and Math...

                                                                      So I joined TikTok.  Yes, I am one of "those" people, who has joined the latest craze. I am there with all the millenials who are much younger than me (although, yes, there are those who are older as well.) I joined for fun and began  making fun videos.  That's when my daughtrer called, saying that she and her friends "decided they wanted to make me famous" (I laughed). She asked if I would be "everyone's mom." I laughed again and asked why she would want that. This is when I got an asnwer that almost made me stop n my tracks. "Times are really hard right now, Mom, and everyone needs a mom like you. You accept people for who they are no matter what, you love them, and acknowledge them. People need that right now."  I was honored and surprised. If you know anything about my daughter and I, you know that her teen years weren't an easy road and I was definitely not her

 It is hard to believe that it is September 9th already. What happened to the Summer (although in many ways this has been the longest summer ever! We left school on March 13, thinking that we would return sometime in the Spring. I had not idea that, in September, we still wouldn't be going back to school (in the building per se).  Although we still have two weeks before students begin,  my level of anxiety is increasing every day. This is my 28th year teaching and I feel unequipped to fully meet the needs of the students I love so dearly! We have started Professional Development and Professional Learning Communities..zoom meetings all day. Everyone is starving for information, trying to put the puzzle together as to how we will serve those we teach.  We are starting school in a new world, both during a pandemic as well as a time of social upheaval. There have been nightly protests in Portland for over 100 days. Protests that stand for Black Lives Matter, protests that ha

I started this blog post in May. For some reason I have been really struggling with writing. I think because so many things are in flux that it can be challenging to find focus. I want to change that. I am working on literally making a schedule of my day to help me find time to read, write, work on my side hustle, Two Giraffes Lularoe, I am both trying to simplify my life as well as find some order. It's a strange combination...Order and chaos. yet it is the life that I have now.   This time in my life, during the pandemic, education is at a cross roads. We have the potential to change the way we teach, change the way students have the opportunity to learn. In this scary time, we have the opportunity to make a powerful difference on education as a whole!  I am a teacher. This past year I finished my 28th year of teaching. I have been an educator for more than half my life. Being a teacher defines me. I love teaching. I love the students, the challenge of unlocking th

We are at at unprecedented time. We have been indoors for weeks, taking opportunities to go outside to walk, staying six feet apart, wearing masks, glove, and trying to be polite and distant at the same time. If you have a member of your family who is "vulnerable" then you are even more vigilant. I was in a Virtual Seminar a few weeks ago with Landmark Education and had one of those Thunderbolt experiences regarding uncertainty. The quote went something like this "Yes, this is an uncertain time, but when isn't an uncertain time?" I took a virtual step back and thought about that. It's true...when isn't it an uncertain time? We don't know what is going to happen next, there is just a level that we feel that we control. I think as a parent of a medically fragile child I understand this at a deeper level, every day with Javad is uncertain. In some ways, this is the most stable time for him. We are being vigilant with masks, hand washing and the numb

I was noticing today that the stress and anxiety of the time is making my tremor show up more. I am not overly surprised, although, I don't necessary feel stressed except for the constant heartburn in the pit of my stomach. Ugh. Years ago I was diagnosed with Essential Tremor after a year of having severe facial tics and other issues. These tremors don't show up that often unless the stress level is almost unbearable. So I guess that's where I am. This isn't really about me and my tremor, but rather in a time of high stress, what do you see coming up for you? How do you care for yourself? This is a strange and scary time, a time when we hear about the storm that is brewing but we are watching from outside. Some people are directly experiencing the effects of this virus, either themselves getting sick, or others around them. I can't even imagine being in that boat. I, on the other hand, am spending most of my time trying to stay out of the way so I can keep m

During March, the Timbers season begins. Well, every year until this year. This year we are in Quarantine, Social Distancing, which would be virtually impossible in the Timbers Army. We stand together, literally, and cheer boisterously for our Boys.  Five years ago, this strange family, clad in green and gold, saved me. I had just watched my son nearly die and i was lost. My entire life was crumbling around me but at these games I had people reaching out, offering me a hand up. The Timbers are home, Providence Park is Church, a place where I feel safe, feel cared for, feel loved. I have found my people there. When it's game day, I am excited to see my people, spend time with them, feel their love. Together we feel the highs of victory and the lows of defeat, but best of all we do it together! Over the last five years, these days have boosted my spirit, helped me to feel grounded, gave me an emotional home. These days have helped me heal. Today, I sat at home for what feels

Holy Cow Batman! I haven't posted in forever! I am not sure what that says. This year has been both challenging and freeing. I am finally feeling more settled into myself, which hasn't happened in a long time. This month marks the five year mark from Javad's seizure. It seems strange that it has been five years. One one hand it has been a lifetime ago and yet it seems like it was yesterday. So much has changed in my world. I am not longer married, although I feel like we are in a much better place than we were for some time, and I am dating a wonderful man. I feel more at peace than I have in some time. It's hard not having Javad with me, but he is in the home he has grown up in, in the room that was built for him. All in all...things are good. That brings us to this past week. We are knee deep in COVID-19 and the Quarantine that comes with it. It is such a strange time. One would think with all of Javad's sickness and hospitalizations, I would be prepared for