Winter is Coming...

Today as I crawled out of bed (after hitting the snooze about five time), I heard the wind blowing against the house, shaking everything. The East Winds, which are not nearly as bad at my house as they are at school, have come in with a vengeance. It is cold outside. When I arrived at school it felt like I may be blown away. An icy wind, cut through me like a cold, sharp knife as I walked into the building. Passing by a crew of construction workers layered in thick coats, and I'm sure much more, reminded how lucky I am...lucky to have a job I love, lucky to be a part of my students' journey. The construction company working on our school, LCG Pence Construction, gathered new and lightly used coats for our students, many who in poverty, who have no access to outerwear that will protect them from the impending weather. Students flocking to getting a garment that will protect them through these winter months. This is an example of community drawing together. I am lucky to be a part of that too.

Life, in so many ways is like this. We are often unprepared for the storms ahead. Our lives, swirling around us like gale force winds, coming at us from all directions. We stand tall, leaning into the wind, hoping that we have the strength to withstand the forces blowing straight at us. This is how I have felt recently. In a state of transition where I am unsure what each day will bring. Getting up is a challenge, with quality sleep being something that seems to be just out of reach. I spend the early morning hours hitting the snooze button because I can't seem to peel myself out of bed. I want to get up, I want to journal and do yoga in the morning...maybe even take the dog for a walk. I have the best intentions yet can't seem to make the final step out of bed. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. The changes that are happening are cutting deeply into my soul, making me continually reach deeper to find balance and, at times, I wonder if I am really managing.

On top of everything, it's the holiday season, usually my favorite, and I can't even find it within me to decorate. My house is in disarray and I am trying to carve out my life in the upper portion of my house. When you are separated from your spouse, but living in the same house, regardless of the civility of the situation, it is difficult. My new bedroom, an oasis of sorts, is being decorated to reflect a sense of peace and serenity. My living room with my Grandfather's chair is helping me find my way into a somewhat new life. Getting settled into my life while still vigilant about the boy who seems to be teetering between health and sickness.

There are so many things about winter that brings both joy and a depth of sorrow. The deep cold burrowing deep into my soul, shaking me to the core. I shiver and warm myself in the blankets of family and friendships, holdingon to the stability of those around me. Seeking to find my way through the blizzard that is swirling about my head. Cold, clear days where the sun is warming my face, a reminder that times will improve while the ground under my feet hardens...

Winter is coming...the coolness of times, where curling up next to a warm fire brings a sense of peace. The comfort of strong hugs wrapped around me, from those who care, brings hope for the future. Spring will come...the frost will thaw and the flowers of my new life will slowly push their way from the frozen ground. The warm sun bathing my face and body like water lapping against my skin. I will stretch to my fullest banishing the sorrow from deep inside my soul and embracing the newness of the life ahead. Winter is coming...but so is Sp
ring and that brings me hope...