Painting the future...

Although I am scientist and mathematician, I am also a writer (duh...you're reading my blog) and a painter. I am not trained...I have never taken a class, but I love to paint. Writing and painting are a type of therapy for me, a way to express myself differently. When I was growing up, I watched my mother draw. She used to make pictures along the wall and each December she would paint our giant picture window with a holiday theme. I remember one year she painted a giant dove with an olive branch in its mouth. She decided that year that she wouldn't remove it at the end of the month, but rather left the dove on the window and modified the branch and other parts of the scene for each holiday. That is one of my favorite memories of my mother. She was so proud of that window.

I was surrounded by art and music in a strange way. My grandmother, who had perfect pitch, used to play the piano for me so I could sing when I came to her house on Wednesdays and Sundays. I would love standing near her in church harmonizing with her amazing soprano voice. She saw how much I loved to sing and made it possible for me to take lessons when I was in high school. Those lessons helped me to enjoy four amazing years of choir singing in two separate choirs) and an opportunity to participate in the State Solo Contest. Music is one of the true joys of my life, one that I deeply desire to get re-connected to.

As I became an adult, I began painting. Using paper bags as my medium, I have painted a variety of nature scenes that bring me peace. There is something about the creation, watching something rising from nothing that brings a great deal of satisfaction. Pictures that almost create themselves. I never know, when I start, where I will end. This is a metaphor for life. We move forward building memory upon memory, creating a beautiful life.

At this time, when things bit foggy, I am reminded that I get to create a future for myself. I get to decide what it looks like. I am creating a life where people accept me for who I am, rather than who they want me to be. This has always been my desire.
I get to paint my life. I get to fill it with people and things that bring me peace and joy. I get to fill it with colors that bring satisfaction. I am grabbing the colors around me, looking at the canvas and painting over the parts that have brought pain. I am filling my world with the colors of my choice. I have found my power...it's painting my future and that will be very satisfying.

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