A bag of memories...

I have a little purple bag that contains years of memories...small trinkets I have collected that have meaning to me, although probably not to others. Each of these items were carefuly chosen and placed lovingly in the bag, carried with me in my purse, transferred from one to bag to another. I had it with me at all times, until...

Some time in the last two years (after Javad's seizure), I put my bag of memories into a purse and then lost track of it. I mourned that it was missing, so much of the last 15 years held in it but felt that it was somewhere, in a special place that clearly I didn't know...it would turn up.

So, imagine my surprise when I was looking through an old purse and viola the purple bag was there! YAY!! Soooo, today I decided to open the bag and see what's inside. It was exciting and nervewracking. I had no idea what might be in there.

Laying things out a rush of memories flooded over me.  Pieces that have been collected over hospital stays, trips and other times that I wanted to remember. Love rocks I found at the hospital when Javad had his seizure. Two pieces of caring that I so desperately needed at the time, These rocks sat on the windowsill for the month that he was hospitalized, reminding me that love was present, strength was present, all would be okay. I held them daily, a reminder that I would make it and that Javad would too..

I have a variety of Guardian Angel coins...one for my Javad, another for my daughter, A St. Christopher medal, patron saint of travelers, to watch over all in my life that travel, including Javad through his medical travels. A St. Joan of Arc medal to guard me, help me defeat my fears, give me strength. I think she has definitely worked overtime over these last years. An Einstein quote, a Ghandi quote, a large Healing rock, a Chinese symbol of luck.

Javad was born on All Saints Day, so a Rosary is included in my bag, although I am not Catholic, I will take blessings for him wherever they may come from, there is a blessing from Iran (not in the picture), a Buddha and an angel that represents my Grandmother, who adored and loved Javad in a way that can't even be written about...it was felt deeply. I am equal opportunity when it comes to receiving spiritual gifts. I am a broad thinker in this area and want my boy to be blessed from all directions.

There is a starfish, representing each of my students...if you haven't read the starfish story, you should.  There is an acorn to remind me that what starts small can grow into something strong and powerful like the oak. Javad was so tiny as a baby, this acorn reminds me that he, too, can grow strong. There is a dragon tear to remind my of my days teaching at Reynolds Learning Academy, a school that supported me in an unbelieveable way during the first years of Javad's life, for which I am forever grateful!

I look at this bag of memories and realize how lucky I am. So many gifts that I carry with me, pieces of my life that have carried me through the hard times. Small trinkets to hold in my hand reminding me that I am not alone.

Memories are like that. Small pieces of life that bring joy, remind you of harder times, sadness, and victory. I cherish each one of these reminders...without them, I would not be who I am. I am grateful of all the love that I carry in this bag, love that is forever embedded in my heart and gives me strength. Strength that will carry me whenever I need it. Each trinket can be held and loved...a simple reminder that I don't walk this journey alone.


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