A Tower of Giraffes...

A group of Giraffes is called a Tower...a tower is a place where information can be communicated over a long distance...my Facebook feed has been flooded with Giraffes over the last few days...my tower is communicating.

A few days ago, I posted this to my Facebook page after what seemed to be days with a lot of Giraffe Traffic...

"Every time someone posts a giraffe to my page or thinks of Javad when they see a giraffe, I like to think that at that moment the universe is sending him beams of healing energy. Every giraffe makes me smile because I know that their presence is bringing my boy back to me. ‪#‎giraffestrong‬ ‪#‎ittakesavillage‬ "

I have been having a bit of a rough time...somewhat of a crisis of emotions. I am not complaining, but there are areas of my life that are almost too much to bear sometimes. I work at overcoming, work at being strong, but frankly, it can be overwhelming. The cutest boy, not being himself, is, at times, the blow that almost brings me to my knees. 

On those days, when I am feeling the lowest, the universe often sends me a shout out...a Tower of Giraffes flooding my Facebook page. It is almost like people know...a sense of my frustration and sorrow is then balanced out by those around me. I am reminded that it truly takes a village and the village is there. I am not necessarily talking just about the littlest...these beams of healing are coming towards me too!

Most people tell me that they think I am strong, that I seem to take things in stride...that's the outside me, not the exhausted, sometimes panicky, lonely, heartbroken inside me. The inside me is, at times, barely holding on, trying not to get lost in the web of sadness, the helplessness of not being able to fix what is happening, the sorrow of knowing what the loss is and wanting it to be better.

The Tower provides sight, vision, something that I desperately need. I can't see far down the road...I don't know what our future holds. What I do know is there are forms of tape and glue which are holding things together...holding me together. At those times when I feel the lowest, I am going to climb the tower. I am going to sit and listen to their humming, a sound that provides a sense of white noise, a noise that is almost too private to bear.

The Tower is here, being sent by the Universe...now I just need to know how to receive the gift. It's a journey, two steps forward and five steps back. The giraffes will still flood my page...I grateful...grateful that there are those around us who let us be, but most of all recognize in him what there is to offer. The Tower is speaking, lowly humming, hoping that I will be fully present.

I have to...it's how we build the Tower...the tower of giraffes.