Call to action or possibly in-action...

In my life these days, I feel like there is a bit too much action. I long for the lazy days of summer, the times when laying on the couch or sleeping in is the norm. Now our life is run by nursing availability and I am feeling sleep deprived and exhausted. I feel like I have been insensitive to my friends who have always struggled with the lack of night nursing while we peacefully slept with the littlest all wrapped up in his bed. Now we adjust to our new life...the life I struggle with...my husband struggles with.

My husband has been sick the last few days...not eating or drinking enough and plagued by stomach issues. Since the even in March, he has struggled with appetite and eating. This is a normal stress response for him, but at almost two months out, I worry about him. He has pulled within himself (another norm) and I know fights his own inner demons that have to do with that night. I can't help him with these and wish that I could wave my wand and be back to the days before March 16...make changes that may have changed the outcome.

Clearly that is not what I can do...I can sit and send love to my husband, let him ride this wave...I can try to catch some sleep when I can, I can cope to the best of my ability. I am ready for some serious inaction in my life. I may try to figure out how to have a hammock that the littlest and I can swing in over the summer...snuggle a bit and continue to work towards improvement. Our family still needs to heal and each day I realize that we have come far and still have farther to go. This is my call to actions...rest, recoup, and care for one another...