Be the Change...

Today I had the opportunity to participate in the Challenge Day"Be the Change Next Steps" workshop. I had the opportunity to participate in Challenge Day this fall at my school and it was an amazing experience. I am of the mindset that I can be the best I can by being real and true with people, including students. I understand that there are many that believe that teacher need to be separate from students, need to remain distant. I believe that I must indeed stay professional, but yet be personal...be real. Students do best when they build relationships, feel connected. If we want to be real, we all do best when we feel connected.

Today filled up my cup a bit..I was told that I made a major difference in who students saw themselves as, that our after-school program is making a difference and has filled a (much needed) hole. I feel like I have been living from a place of fear. My body is having a weird stress reaction these days...my legs are on fire and ache in a way that is hard to describe. I think about our past, and I guess that the fact that no one ever told us that Javad might not make it may have made us less prepared for the reality. It's a reality we never wanted to face, a turn we never wanted experience.
Only two times have I been that afraid...once when he was two and then March 16...I'm not going to lie, I am struggling with keeping my stress responses in check.

During the workshop my legs were killing me. I don't know why, but I do know that it was frustrating because of the lack of control I feel. That was one of my lessons (one that I seem to need to learn over and over again)...I need to let things go (Cue Else from Frozen here...) I am enough in what I do. I am enough as a teacher, a mother, a friend. I need to quit letting the voices from my past dictate my actions now. I want to be part of a movement for good...I want to be the change.