Just me, myself, and I...

When considering where things have been this last few years, it always comes back to me.

Who am I?
What do I want to be?
Do I want my voice heard?
Who do I want to hear it?

My entire life (ok...maybe not my entire life...), I have felt that I had a purpose. Since adulthood, I have been a teacher, a leader, a worker, someone that could be counted on.

One would think that, by now, I would have these things figured out. It seems that the smallest things are the ones that take me off kilter.

I am a caretaker...when there is a crisis, I figure it out. I am the strong one...the one you can count on if you need it. I handle things, even if I don't want to. I am a classic first child, and even more, a classic child of an alcoholic. I handled things when my mother could not.

Now, after nine years of my mother being gone, I am struggling to find my identity. My role at work, the place where I knew my strengths and weaknesses, has changed. Now the place where I have always felt confident, has shattered that confidence.

I know that I am good at what I do, my students reflect that back to me. I build relationships and work hard to build for their success. I am committed to them for the short and long haul. This is where the irony comes in...

I am confident in them yet not confident in me.

I am questioning...deeply...trying to order the chaos in my past...find it's place so my future is not affected...clearly so because even my present is being affected. It's time to move on...

Selfies are the trend...

I am working to love my Selfie...it's time to take all I have...accept, love, and make peace. <3


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