Road Block...

For the last few weeks I have been experiencing a serious roadblock in my brain. I have been stuck. Life has taken over and stopped me from being able to think, create, move forward...It is interesting when this happens in one's life...a road block is before you and instead of moving around it, you stop and sit...waiting for the block to move or be removed.

In reality, we must be the movers of our on blocks. Sitting and doing nothing means we cannot move forward. The frightening part is that, at times when sitting, we actually believe that we have no control over our situation. We pull out the lounge chair, gets comfortable, and wait for a sign...something that says that it's time...we can move forward.

I let myself fall into the abyss...I have been climbing the walls trying to get back to the top, only to be met with impossible turns, emotional traumas, and mental stress. I want to refuse to be there...I want to be at the top, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.

I have been here before...I know this abyss..I have made it to the top and walked amongst those who weren't worried or bothered by the road blocks that present in their own lives.

How do I become one of those that is able to navigate through the physical, emotional, and personal land mines that seem to be littered around our world. How do I lift up the road block, walk around the land mines, find myself in a place of peace?

How do I stop the self-doubt, self-criticism, constant wondering if I can fix it, control it, make it better/ How do I encourage, support, hold up others while constantly wondering myself.

I know that I am ultimately powerless...that I cannot change the world around me, the people that are entering and leaving my life, but I know that I can choose how I react....I need to work on how I react...I need to work on how I internalize the world around me.

I want the road block to be removed or I need to put my chair away, get up and walk around. I need to get out of the abyss and walk in the light.

It's a long journey...I have walked this path is frightening and has many turns, twists and valleys.

I hope to be stronger when I am done...more assured, willing to stand and clearly speak without fear.

The road block is here, stopping me from the path the stands before me. I think I am ready to begin opening the space to walk through...think of me on this path...I think it's going to be a long one.


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