The Other Side of the Equation: A story of Life, Love, and Math...

My dear friends. who lost their son this fall, are on a journey this winter break...a journey of the heart. They have chosen to take supplies and equipment to other families in need, other families who have children affected by MTM. Although I have not spoken to them...I feel that I am on this journey with them...my heart that was shattered alongside theirs leaving pieces in each and every stop. These gifts are a small reflection of their son that will shine throughout the United States. Each time another child uses the equipment, his memory is refreshed. Their journey has taken them over 7000 miles. Seven thousand miles of gorgeous sunrises, colorful sunsets, mountains and deserts. Sights where their son's spirit shines through. This journey, their journey of the heart, has been a way to honor him, honor their union as a family, and mourn his loss. Sometimes you meet people in your life...people who are good, kind, special. They are these kind of people...real, genuine. They n

So, today The Cutest Boys had his appointment at Shriner's Hospital for the Neuromuscular Clinic. We go every six months for a check-up and a plan for the future... Today we were given the news...it is time to schedule back surgery. This has been both something to fear as well as look forward to. The opportunity for him to sit up straight, breathe freely. So, we are now on the path...Spring Break is the magical time. We will be crossing our fingers for an amazing outcome! I have a positive attitude that all will work out fine...although I will feel better when it's done and over with!

Who determines whether or not you are having a mid-life crisis? Who determines whether or not it is your mid-life? Since we don't know when our "mid-life" is...couldn't any crisis potentially be a mid-life crisis? I was driving along today, thinking about this whole idea. Maybe it is this place I am in...some might think morbid curiosity...but ultimately the idea of mid-life is one that is up for conversation. I have been thinking about the idea of mid-life for awhile. My son is twelve and has a life-threatening disease...is it possible that he is at mid-life? What would parenting be like if we knew...I mean, really knew exactly when our mid-life was and those of our children, significant others, would things be different? Would we make different choices? Would we choose to be with different people? Life can be precarious...we really don't know anything about anything and yet we have to make decisions, move forward, cross our fingers and hope. Shouldn'

It has been over a week since I last posted. This is the longest in over a year since I have written. It has been a dry time, a time that I have been looking. I have taken a trip to Illinois and back and survived the most dreadful Christmas, but I have also been reminded that each of these days are precious and must be cherished. This year I feel surrounded...I feel knee deep in sorrow, anger, and wishful thinking. I am rising up and not allowing there to be days, precious times away from the cutest boy. He is twelve and, although he has been relatively healthy, I recognize that twelve is a long time. I am not trying to be morbid, but, for some reason, this year has been the most difficult, hitting me at the deepest depths. There are so many feelings...frustration and inadequacy in my job, frustrations in my personal life, and then deep grief over the loss of children so dear to my heart. It is a deep sorrow I can't seem to shake. My heart is walking side-by-side with others, hur

There are times in life when you must be the parent...the one with the credit card, the one that comes to the rescue when things have run amok... It is one of those times....times that lend for joyous connections, laughter along the road, traveling on unchartered freeways, eating too much fast food... Sometimes it is just meant to be...sometimes the right thing is a hard thing...sometimes you watch your children hurt. This is when it is difficult, as a parent, but sometimes these difficult times lead to better times, wider paths...joy. This is one of those times...Time to be a Unicorn.

I have flown to Illinois to drive home with my daughter. We have four days of driving, fun, laughter, sleeplessness, and joy together. I am sure we will laugh, hopefully not fight, sing, and enjoy being together. I was not planned for me to come, but it is a gift. After all...how often does one get to spend four solid days with a child they love? While driving, my Tiny Buddha will be keeping us safe...watching over us. He is small, but powerful...enough to get us home.

As a teacher there are many things to remember.... 1. Most students really do want to learn. 2. Students want to learn in a distraction-free environment. 3. Everyone is human...we all make mistakes. 4. If we work together great things can happen. 5. One or two students can alter the direction of a group of students (either positively or negatively) 6. Students, given the opportunity to be honest, will tell the truth about what's holding them back from being successful (friends) and why they come to school each day (they have to). 7. Building a learning community for children can be difficult, but is worth it! 8. I love my kids every day. 9. Even when I'm not feeling like it...I am making a difference! 10. Finding "your people" to support your dreams for your students is essential!

When I was a little girl, my mom would read me "Where the Wild Things Are." It is one of those memories of my mother that brings a smile to my heart. When my daughter was born, she took my old wooden high chair, stripped it of it's lead laden paint and refinished it, complete with a tray donning a scene from the book. It was her way of passing the torch to the next generation. I feel a bit like I am living among the Wild Things....I am not sure if I am Max or one of the beasts. I am struggling to balance emotions...trying to find the place where I fit. I am looking at young learners...some not eager at all to make a positive contribution to those around them. Many of them sit with their imagined crowns upon their head, holding the scepter.  I am not sure if they puff out their chest due to fear or indignation. Either way...it is there. Today I lost my shit with my kids...used some flowery language that I usually  reserve for friends...Maybe I should have just said..