A time of thanks?
This fall has been a struggle...although I am grateful for my friends, I hardly see them. We are like ships in the night. I have a job as a teacher, and although most of my students are grateful, the amount of pressure that is coming down the pipe is, at times, overwhelming. Last night I wrote out almost 70 accommodation papers so that I can read questions aloud to students taking the standardized test. If I haven't filled out paperwork, that is not an accommodation that student gets. It is crazy. We make things more difficult, school isn't about just learning...it is a bureaucratic nightmare. The paperwork is like a wave that is all consuming. The joy of teaching is being sucked out...I feel like my joy is being sucked out.
I am a being that requires community, yet community is not encouraged. We are set up into groups we may or may not gel with, snarky behavior and comments are looked over. We are trying to teach students to watch how they treat others, but our own bad behavior is not acknowledged or corrected.
I want to be thankful...I want to breathe easy, yet I feel stifled...not grateful at all. I am hoping, in time, that this empty space will be filled with joy or at least satisfaction. Education has always brought me joy...thanks and, I think that I am ready to have some of that feeling again...