Being the mother of The One That Walked...

My daughter has begun writing a blog. I know how it feels to begin...cathartic, scary, freeing...As someone who admires her, I am enjoying reading her writing, but as her mother it is sometimes painful. Tonight was one of those nights...

The cutest boy entered our lives almost twelve years ago. At that time, our daughter was the only one that lived with is, but after only a year, our two sons came to live with us as well. Each of the children (who are now adults now), handled their youngest brother and the issues involved in a variety of ways. Tonight, our girl talked about hers...I will let you take a moment to read, then come back and we'll finish up!

The Story of The One That Walked

So...imagine reading that story...the true story of your daughter who is your heart. Some of these things I knew, some I had suspected, all are painful to read. This is a young woman who has struggled to overcome her own demons, love her brother, and holds nothing against him. She loves her brother with her heart and soul. I am a lucky mother.

I look at our four children and consider myself blessed. I am not going to lie...those years with her were awful. She wasn't lying when she said one of us might not make it. I used to say those words to her...I wasn't sure who, if anyone, was going to survive those times. It was a brutal time!

She was coping in the only way she knew how...I'm not lying that I wished I had been more aware, more on top of things, but I wasn't. What I do hope is that our experiences can help other families that are in the same position. Even when you think that the lines of communication are open, they may not be. She was so worried about hurting me that she kept secrets. I was so involved in my own life with the cutest boy that I didn't really see that she was struggling. She was always the one that did ok...that was my downfall. I should have noticed that she was handling things too well! There had to be a crack somewhere...

Walking this road...the one with the cutest boy, has been a brutal one at times, everyone has had to make sacrifices...we have all worried that we might lose him. I wish that our kids could have felt more comfortable talking about their fears in this area, but they were mum...nothing said.

We have walked this road mostly alone. There have been some families that were there that had similar aged boys, but as far as having a girl and older boys, we're it. I had no path, no light, no guidance. I hope to be that light for others...we need to be in this for each other.

I am not saying that everyone's experience will be the same...as a matter of fact, I hope our experiences will make things more open for others...The One That Walked turned out to be one of the most amazing women I know. I am lucky...lucky she wasn't successful in her attempts, lucky that I know her.

We have much to offer for now because I hope that one day there won't be just One that Walked because there will be many that walk!