Stop Worrying...

Believe it or not...I am a control freak. Looking at my house or my classroom, one would never think this is true, but in so many ways, it is. I have a deep desire to know what is happening in my life, to be able to control the outcome or at least the possibilities. This is a constant challenge where the last eleven years have dished out a variety of times where I had absolutely no control. This lack of control in one area has made me confront this personality trait in many, sometimes painful, ways.

What does it mean to want to be in control of uncontrollable areas? I guess it's the desire to be the queen of some domain, any domain in my life. Although this is unrealistic, of course, to be able to control all events, the illusion of being in control can be a strong motivator to continue this behavior. This is an area that I am putting energy into...letting go.

Letting go of the need for control is powerful. The ultimate realization that one actually has very little control can be a freeing piece of knowledge. Knowing I must work hard, make good choices, then hang on for the ride can be one of the most powerful pieces of knowledge. Craving the power and control just leads to frustration and disappointment.

Taking the worry and doubt and putting it away can lead to powerful consequences...the future opens up and becomes more bright. Whatever happens was meant to be and whatever is meant to be will happen. Planning and trying to control the outcome will often have frustrating results...relaxing and being happy with the outcome that is produced will have an often unexpected result...freedom...