Almost in the teens...


So, tonight, as I sit here thinking, "What am I going to write about tonight?" There are nights when the ideas flow, when it is almost if my hands and brain are connected, then there are nights like tonight where there is nothing. All I can think about is that I have been sick for a week, missing almost five days of school and tomorrow, we are in the teens...yes...only nineteen school days until the end of the year.

This year started with such promise...I had such high hopes for a new, year...a year filled with change. I know that I have written about this before, so I won't rehash, but those thoughts went down the tube in rapid fashion. So, once my anger subsided, I made this my year of refocus, finding my center, finding my vision.

I have been working on meditating, stilling my mind, focusing on the inner being. I have been looking toward the future, how I can improve my practice for next year, knowing which way is right or at least better. I am looking to do a better, more complete job teaching, one where at the end of the year, when there is just nineteen days remaining, I am not left wondering so much...how could I have done better? How could I have engaged them more? Was it me? Was it them?

I am not going to lie...I am glad that there are nineteen days left...this year has been exhausting. I have never been sick as much as I have this year...never used more than all of my sick days available. I feel like I have been through the ringer, emotionally, physically, career-wise.

In nineteen days, the cycle starts anew...a new group of eighth graders will arrive, fresh-faced and ready to learn. Maybe that is just wishful thinking, but, I hear the ones coming are pretty dreamy.

I am ready...I can make it nineteen days, then refresh and begin again...

Comments

  1. What subject do you teach? You faked me out with the "teens" i was definitely thinking LITERAL temp as it looked like Buddha in snow! Love the symbolism (sortof) nevertheless you never truly know what you have sown till later! COUNTDOWN!

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  2. I hope you get a break between nineteen days and the new group of eighth graders...

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  3. Oh, Shannon. I haven't had the sickness you've had this year. But oh, the challenges with my class. I have cried more this year than ever before. And beat myself up trying to figure out how I can switch, change, move, modify, adapt.....and still teach to each child. Was it me? Was it them? Sadly, but truthfully, I am glad to have read this today. It is a support to know that I am not alone. And I can do 19. And refresh myself, to meet those fresh five year old faces in August. With a full heart, a relaxed body and a reenergized mind.

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