I'm a hurdling through here...

This letter could be to anyone...it could also say Dear Terrific Boy...

The point is...we all come across hurdles. Today was one of mine. Being a teacher is a hard job...showing up every day with a positive attitude ready to conquer the world and all those teen aged hormones can be a challenge. We are humans, with our own human emotions, our own lives weighing heavily on our hearts.

I had a really rough day...one where I wish I could turn back time and not get up. I am under a weight and I should have recognized where I was...tomorrow I go meet with lawyers about a lawsuit against my insurance for refusing to pay for my son's nursing care, this week I had to go to the doctor because I am having substantial tremors in my hands (which are moving to my face) to get testing to see if I am a carrier of my son's rare genetic disease or if I have MS or who knows..maybe in the end nothing major, but something is going on. I am emotionally at the end...I am holding on to the knot in my rope, for dear life...hoping I can hang on.

As my girlfriend says, I can't seem to get control of the many things in my life...I am going to share a secret (well...not so secret!)...I am a control freak. You would never know it by how messy my desk (and room) at work is, or how messy my house is, but I am a control freak. I function by knowing what is going on in my life and being able to make decisions regarding those things. It is how I have kept my son alive, it is how my marriage has survived, it is how I have maintained my sanity throughout the last 15 years.

I pride myself on being able to keep it together...today I am beating myself up for not...

Today, I received the above email from the Brave Girls Club...I needed it. I needed to be reminded that I am not a failure, I needed to be reminded that I am brave, I needed to be reminded that we all have hurdles and it's how we respond to them that matters...do we let them stop us or do we move forward in spite of them?

Life is not guaranteed to be easy...as a matter of fact, some times will be hard! Not to complain, but I think my plate is full for awhile...I need to gather my hurdles and put them in a pile. I refuse to let them hinder my progress. I will build them into a chair where I can sit high and survey my life. Each of us has to decide what we are doing with the hurdles we encounter...will they stop us from moving forward or do we go around them? Sometimes they are big and we need help...reach out, find those on your team, give them a hammer, and let things go.

Life is a team sport, whether or not we want to admit it...Life throws hurdles in our way to see what we are made of...are you giving up or jumping over and continuing forward? Every day we must decide...I am holding on to my team so they can pull me from the bottom of my rope...the hurdles have been weighing me down. I am ready to be free.

Get help...find solace in others....make a bonfire and roast marshmallows...don't let the hurdles stop you...let them motivate you to move forward!


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