Finding your person...
So here I was tonight, as their two handsome sons walked their mother down the aisle to their smiling, waiting father, at the marriage of these two people who are reaping the rewards of their work. They are reuniting their family, showing the fruits of their labor, that love really can really conquer all, if you are committed to it.
I looked at pictures of their high school smiling faces looking up at me and saw that fresh face love of teenagers and then looked at their faces tonight and saw that same love shining from their eyes. To have that person, the one that you can count on, cry to, hold is so important. We all need to have our person. For my friend...that person has always been him and now they get to celebrate for the rest of time.
Each of us has a place in our lives where we put our person. They might change as our life moves forward...sometimes it's our spouse, sometimes not. I think of my own life and see that my person has changed throughout the years, as I have grown and changed. When I was in high school, my person was my girlfriend across the street. For two years, we talked, hung out, shared, but that didn't continue as the college years came...possibly because I moved away, but more, I think, because of my inability to really open myself deeply to someone else.
Having a person, for me, is difficult. Due to the chaos of my younger years, making concrete attachments with others can be challenging. I work hard at it. I don't like the fact that I can essentially walk away from a relationship without looking back. Not a part of my personality I love, but sadly, it's there. Anyway...as I have grown, I have allowed myself to really find my person. It is important to have one...someone you can be genuinely you with. Someone who can see all the parts of you that you don't want to share, the gory details, and still love you.
Why do we need this? So we have the opportunity to be real. Friendships sometimes require us to keep a portion of ourselves back. Something hidden for personal safety. We don't want everyone to know everything about us. There are parts of our lives that we prefer to keep under the radar. Having a person helps to open those closets and let the skeletons roam free for a bit. We need that chance to air out.
Having a person is good for our soul. It allows us to be free, to rest, to find peace. If we are constantly trying to keep buried the ugly parts of ourselves, it is exhausting, but by allowing our person permission to look deep into our soul, knowing that there will be no judgement, brings peace. We all deserve peace in our lives, so whatever is good for your soul....do that!
Shannon, your post really got me thinking. It's true that most of us have several really special friends who see the gory parts and still love us. The power of that special friendship between spouses is deeper than the ocean and wider than the sea; however, it's hard work as you acknowledged - and you have to overlook the gory parts to focus on the sunshine of love. Thank you for sharing.ReplyDelete
Lovely post Shannon. So often people give up and walk away from their person. They don't seem to keep fighting back. But you record this story with love...and yes, I agree about having "the person". I was patient. It took me a while... Glad you have yours too,ReplyDelete
What a lovely story. True love requires work and faith, it seems as though your friends had both, in the long run. How marvelous for their children to have been able to witness this, too. A lesson in their parent's marriage for them as well.ReplyDelete
I like this...it really made me think about who my person is right now and who it might be in the future. Thanks.ReplyDelete
Also, I saw you commented on my blog about the little check mark boxes at the end of a post. I did that to my blog so long ago that I can't remember how I did it! I tried looking everywhere in the settings and such last night, but to no avail! If I do figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know!
Shannon, I figured it out! From your main blog page, go to Design (this will show if you're logged in), and then to Layout. Once there, there should be a box in the middle that says "Blog Posts" and it should say "edit" in the bottom corner. Click on that and it should open up a page and one of the options should be Reactions and you can type in whatever words you want to have as checkbox things. Separate each one that you want by a comma!ReplyDelete
Hope that helps! Let me know if you can't figure out my crazy directions :)
Love this story of two people committed enough to keep working at their relationship. I think your idea of people having different people at different times in their lives is also interesting. I've never been married, so for most of my life these people have been women. They do change, however, from season to season.ReplyDelete
I've been catching up on your posts tonight (I guess I should say "this morning" since it's past 1:30 AM)...and it's been lovely. You mention here how hard it was to open yourself to others....yet in your musings I see the same young friend whose path crossed mine when her stepmom dragged her over to our house to introduce herself as "the new girl"...and the young woman who didn't realize how open she was when she was singing in choir. That spark of connection was always there--I'm glad you've found its answering spark and know the joy of that connection with another person who "gets" you!ReplyDelete