A Slice of Life...
|Spring Break Tea Day 1|
Today was a great day...It was sunny and (somewhat) warm, but I did not spend the day basking. I spent the day sleeping. Yes, on this beautiful day, I was blissfully napping on my couch off and on throughout the day. I was exhausted.
Tonight I was talking to another teacher friend of mine, and I was sharing about my sleep-fest for the day. I keep telling people I just need to make it to June. It has been a particularly exhausting year, both mentally and emotionally. There is a giant rift within our staff, my particular students act like learning is a chore they refuse to participate in, and I have questioned (over and over) my effectiveness as a teacher. I have always loved my job, felt it was the place where I could be free, and this year has been the most stressful.
I realized when talking to my friend that work has been the place to leave the stress of my life. Having a medically fragile son can take a toll on you and work has been the release. There are no life and death decisions on the line, I can just be the best math teacher I can be. It was an epiphany! Work is exhausting this year because it has become as stressful as home can be. Where do I get the break? Apparently nowhere which is why I am so tired! No rest for the wicked...isn't that how the saying goes?
I love my job and I am holding out hope that next year will be better. Frankly, it can't get worse. In order to get better, people will have to pull their professionalism from the depths of their selves and put it on the table. There will need to be a common goal that says that we are here for the children, to help them be more prepared for the future. Frankly (although there may be lightning strikes from above on this one, so if this is my last post...you know why), I could care less about the test. We have become so focused on the test, as if it is the end all, that we are no longer thinking about teaching children to think. I don't want them to believe that their score is the sum of their knowledge. I want them to be able to show that they know things and if they don't know it, can try to figure it out. We are crushing our children by not allowing them to think, but remember the 50-50 rule of test question answering.
I am ready for next year which means I am ready for this year to be over. I have not given up on my school or my students, but my heart hurts every day for them both. I give a lot to my job and it takes a lot from me. I am going to use this break to regenerate my spirit. I will be watching a lot of "Dr Who," reading, having coffee with friends, cleaning my messy house, and, most importantly, sleeping.
I will be having tea every morning from a fabulous cup. I will savor each Slice of Life...